I really loved this, Alexandra. Honestly, I think other than during the deepest part of depression, I’ve somehow managed to hang onto my curiosity over the years. If anything, it’s gotten stronger the older I get… and probably the more healed I get, too.
Maybe spending most of my life around kids helped with that lol. Raising siblings, becoming a young mom, and now helping raise my grandson… I’ve spent a lot of years around little humans who stop to notice bugs, clouds, weird rocks, and all the tiny things adults usually rush past. Maybe that keeps part of you young. :)
That connection you made between healing and curiosity getting stronger… that feels very real. Almost like when things soften inside, there’s more space to notice again, instead of just being tense and getting through the day with the head down.
And I smiled at the part about being around kids. I think that does something quietly powerful. They don’t try to be curious, they just are. Stopping for bugs, clouds, random little things without questioning if it’s “worth it.”
It sounds like that stayed with you rather than fading, which isn’t that common. Keep it up…
Maybe that’s part of it - not trying to get curiosity back, but staying close to environments or people that naturally keep it alive.
My grandson, whom I adopted and am now raising, is 9 now, but when he was very young, I would walk him to and from daycare. It was a relatively short walk, but it took us soooo long. Because we had to gather rocks and not just any rocks, they had to be perfect to "feed to the alligators that lived under the grates". And then when we hit the park that we'd cut through on the way home, it was stopping to gather sticks, leaves, pinecones, whatnot to create little houses for the animals at the end. It's things like that that just stay with you. The way children can turn an ordinary walk into an adventure. A crack in the sidewalk becomes a river. A storm drain becomes an alligator home. A pile of sticks becomes a tiny sanctuary for creatures no one else even notices. I think being around that kind of wonder for so many years changes you in a good way. It teaches you to slow down, pay attention, and remember that the world is still full of little magic if we’re willing to see it. 😊
I spent a long time just trying to rush through life, numb myself to it, or simply "get through it". Those days are over, thank God, because now I see the beauty and magic that's been around me all along, and I'm so grateful to be here! 😊
I think this is an important essay, Alexandra and you're a great writer. We use different words, in our posts to talk about the same thing. My two cornerstones have been curiosity and Lifelong learning. I also talk about the importance of saying "I don't know," which helps us learn new things. I'm just reading Karen Salmansohn's new book and she talks about both these things as values. No matter how we refer to them, they are both extremely important for all of us. Well done, amiga. Blue💙
I like how you framed it… using different words to point to the same thing. Curiosity, lifelong learning, even being able to say “I don’t know” - they all seem to open the same door, just from slightly different angles.
That “I don’t know” piece is a big one. I’ve noticed how quickly the mind wants to fill the gap, just to feel certain again. But when you actually stay there for a moment, something more interesting tends to come in.
It’s always a good sign when ideas start showing up in different places at the same time.
I know that feeling - it builds up so fast you don’t always notice it happening.
I’ve had days where everything feels like just getting through tasks, and then I catch myself and realise I haven’t really been in the day at all. Even a small pause can shift that a bit.
Glad it gave you a moment to step out of that. It doesn’t take much, but it makes a difference.
Great article. As a scientist, curiosity is the foundation of scientific pursuit. What science has become for me in my work is always based on production and not on the thrill of discovery. One of my first experiments in my graduate study years was when I got a result that was in tune with what would be expected based on biology. Science, art, and creativity are cut from the same cloth. I always loved studying pioneers, the early explorers that went around the globe, etc. Why is this so appealing? It’s because of what is unknown and what we might find. But most importantly it’s what we discover about ourselves and growth in the process.
That’s something I’ve noticed in other areas too. What starts out as curiosity slowly becomes output, expectations, results… and somewhere along the way the original spark gets quieter. Not gone, but harder to access.
I like what you said about that first experiment. There’s something very specific about those moments when something clicks in a way that feels true, not just correct. It stays with you.
And I agree with you on science, art, creativity - they do feel connected at that level. That pull toward the unknown isn’t just about finding answers, it’s about what it opens up in you while you’re exploring it.
It sounds like that part is still there for you, even if the environment around it has changed a bit.
Thank you - I’m really glad it resonated with you.
That everyday wonder you mentioned… it’s easy to overlook, but I’ve found it changes the tone of a day more than anything big or planned. Just noticing something small, even for a moment, seems to shift things a little.
I liked the opening with the bee - just standing there, no agenda, letting the world blur out for a minute. And "we trade questions for conclusions, awe for efficiency" is a strong line because it's uncomfortably true. Same with “I had slowly traded curiosity for certainty”.
I appreciate that you didn't turn the practical bits into a polished program. "Let yourself be bad at things" is simple advice that most of us won’t actually follow, which is exactly why it matters.
That moment with the bee wasn’t planned at all - it just happened, and I almost walked past it. Staying there for a minute felt small at the time, but it shifted something in how I was moving through the day.
And yeah… that trade from curiosity to certainty can happen so quietly. You don’t notice it until things start to feel a bit flat or predictable.
I’m also with you on the “be bad at things” part. It sounds easy, but it goes against how most of us are wired, especially once we’re used to doing things well. I still catch myself resisting it.
I appreciate you taking the time to read it like that - you picked up on the parts that mattered most to me.
I’ve noticed how quickly things can turn into something I feel I have to get good at, almost without realising. And then the curiosity disappears a bit, replaced by pressure.
Letting something stay in that “just exploring” space changes the whole experience. It feels lighter, but also more open somehow.
Glad you got to that point - it does feel freeing in a very real way.
I love that slightly impostor driven quote of Einstein, too! „No I’m not a genius, off with it“ to then win prices.
I get new ideas when I let myself follow a thought emerging from reading.
Curiosity can be directly practical once your brain is as connected as mine: recently I was curious about the café in the foreground of a photo in a message I got, background: a new building I could look up online. No street names given. I found a flight view photo of the same place to then check maps to find out where it is. (Not a huge city…) After that, I got the idea to tell a connect to look for a friend in their fitness app. Brain was like: oh, maps, there was something…
That’s such a good example of how curiosity actually moves in real life - not neat or linear, but jumping from one thing to another and somehow still connecting.
I smiled at the café story. That kind of quiet investigation most people wouldn’t even bother with, but once you follow it, your brain just keeps building on it. It’s like one small question opens a whole chain you didn’t expect.
And I relate to that moment where something clicks - “oh, maps… there was something there” - and suddenly it connects to something completely different.
I think that’s the practical side of curiosity people don’t talk about enough. It’s not just wonder for the sake of it, it actually sharpens how you think, how you notice, how you solve things in everyday situations.
Your mind sounds like it enjoys that process - following the thread just to see where it leads.
What a lovely read Alexandra. You have in-fact opened up to life.
When you open up to life, you DO start noticing the small things that everyone else takes for granted, including a bee. I could see this in my grandchildren when they looked at the trees from their pram when they were young. It never ceased to amaze me how they took interest in things we adults never notice any more. I think us adults should never loose that childhood trait in us, we should always see life as a challenge and NOT as a chore to endure.
Practicing Acceptance daily can bring you this quality of enjoyment by taking the burden of responsibility off your shoulders we are all in this thing we call life together nobody a live, never asked to be born we can’t take responsibility for everything that’s happening in this world we need to Accept more and worry less. To be happy and content and see those 🐝 bees doing their thing.
I really enjoyed reading your comment- especially the part about your grandchildren. I can picture that moment, just watching the trees and being completely absorbed by it. There’s something very pure about that kind of attention.
I think you’re right, we don’t lose that ability completely… it just gets covered up over time. Responsibilities, routines, all the things we think we have to carry. And without noticing, we stop looking in the same way.
What you said about acceptance also makes sense to me, but in a quieter way. Not so much taking all responsibility off, but softening the grip a little. Letting things be as they are for a moment, instead of constantly trying to manage everything.
That’s usually when those small things come back into view again. The bees, the light, the simple moments that don’t ask much from us.
I like how you brought it back to that. Thank you for your comment… love it.
Thank you Alexandra for your kind words and your observations of how Acceptance works, please keep those lovely stories of yours coming here on SS. JOHN
What stayed with me was the smallness of the beginning: standing still long enough to notice a bee moving through the garden. Sometimes wonder does not return through revelation, but through attention becoming quiet again.
That’s exactly how it’s felt for me too. Not something big or sudden, just those small moments where you stop long enough to actually see what’s already there. I remember noticing something similar once, just watching light move across a wall for a few minutes… nothing special, but it shifted something.
And the bee image is perfect. It’s easy to overlook, but if you stay with it for a moment, there’s a lot there.
It does feel like curiosity comes back that way - not through effort, but through making a bit of space for it to return.
amazing, very well written. thank you
Thank you
I really loved this, Alexandra. Honestly, I think other than during the deepest part of depression, I’ve somehow managed to hang onto my curiosity over the years. If anything, it’s gotten stronger the older I get… and probably the more healed I get, too.
Maybe spending most of my life around kids helped with that lol. Raising siblings, becoming a young mom, and now helping raise my grandson… I’ve spent a lot of years around little humans who stop to notice bugs, clouds, weird rocks, and all the tiny things adults usually rush past. Maybe that keeps part of you young. :)
I really loved reading your comment ❤️
That connection you made between healing and curiosity getting stronger… that feels very real. Almost like when things soften inside, there’s more space to notice again, instead of just being tense and getting through the day with the head down.
And I smiled at the part about being around kids. I think that does something quietly powerful. They don’t try to be curious, they just are. Stopping for bugs, clouds, random little things without questioning if it’s “worth it.”
It sounds like that stayed with you rather than fading, which isn’t that common. Keep it up…
Maybe that’s part of it - not trying to get curiosity back, but staying close to environments or people that naturally keep it alive.
My grandson, whom I adopted and am now raising, is 9 now, but when he was very young, I would walk him to and from daycare. It was a relatively short walk, but it took us soooo long. Because we had to gather rocks and not just any rocks, they had to be perfect to "feed to the alligators that lived under the grates". And then when we hit the park that we'd cut through on the way home, it was stopping to gather sticks, leaves, pinecones, whatnot to create little houses for the animals at the end. It's things like that that just stay with you. The way children can turn an ordinary walk into an adventure. A crack in the sidewalk becomes a river. A storm drain becomes an alligator home. A pile of sticks becomes a tiny sanctuary for creatures no one else even notices. I think being around that kind of wonder for so many years changes you in a good way. It teaches you to slow down, pay attention, and remember that the world is still full of little magic if we’re willing to see it. 😊
That’s so cute… love that walk… and that’s exactly it, moments like those are teaching you to slow down and look… beyond the surface.
We live in a such hurry world, and we also live with the heads down on the phones… we rarely look up
But if you do look up and pause a bit you can see the magic you just explained.
I spent a long time just trying to rush through life, numb myself to it, or simply "get through it". Those days are over, thank God, because now I see the beauty and magic that's been around me all along, and I'm so grateful to be here! 😊
I think this is an important essay, Alexandra and you're a great writer. We use different words, in our posts to talk about the same thing. My two cornerstones have been curiosity and Lifelong learning. I also talk about the importance of saying "I don't know," which helps us learn new things. I'm just reading Karen Salmansohn's new book and she talks about both these things as values. No matter how we refer to them, they are both extremely important for all of us. Well done, amiga. Blue💙
This really means a lot - thank you.
I like how you framed it… using different words to point to the same thing. Curiosity, lifelong learning, even being able to say “I don’t know” - they all seem to open the same door, just from slightly different angles.
That “I don’t know” piece is a big one. I’ve noticed how quickly the mind wants to fill the gap, just to feel certain again. But when you actually stay there for a moment, something more interesting tends to come in.
It’s always a good sign when ideas start showing up in different places at the same time.
Thank you for reading it so thoughtfully. ❤️
Thanks for the reminder to help from getting too bogged down in the day to day.
I know that feeling - it builds up so fast you don’t always notice it happening.
I’ve had days where everything feels like just getting through tasks, and then I catch myself and realise I haven’t really been in the day at all. Even a small pause can shift that a bit.
Glad it gave you a moment to step out of that. It doesn’t take much, but it makes a difference.
You rock!
Great article. As a scientist, curiosity is the foundation of scientific pursuit. What science has become for me in my work is always based on production and not on the thrill of discovery. One of my first experiments in my graduate study years was when I got a result that was in tune with what would be expected based on biology. Science, art, and creativity are cut from the same cloth. I always loved studying pioneers, the early explorers that went around the globe, etc. Why is this so appealing? It’s because of what is unknown and what we might find. But most importantly it’s what we discover about ourselves and growth in the process.
That’s something I’ve noticed in other areas too. What starts out as curiosity slowly becomes output, expectations, results… and somewhere along the way the original spark gets quieter. Not gone, but harder to access.
I like what you said about that first experiment. There’s something very specific about those moments when something clicks in a way that feels true, not just correct. It stays with you.
And I agree with you on science, art, creativity - they do feel connected at that level. That pull toward the unknown isn’t just about finding answers, it’s about what it opens up in you while you’re exploring it.
It sounds like that part is still there for you, even if the environment around it has changed a bit.
Beautiful article thank you so much for sharing <3 Every day wonder is absolutely necessary.
Thank you - I’m really glad it resonated with you.
That everyday wonder you mentioned… it’s easy to overlook, but I’ve found it changes the tone of a day more than anything big or planned. Just noticing something small, even for a moment, seems to shift things a little.
It’s simple, but it stays with you.
I liked the opening with the bee - just standing there, no agenda, letting the world blur out for a minute. And "we trade questions for conclusions, awe for efficiency" is a strong line because it's uncomfortably true. Same with “I had slowly traded curiosity for certainty”.
I appreciate that you didn't turn the practical bits into a polished program. "Let yourself be bad at things" is simple advice that most of us won’t actually follow, which is exactly why it matters.
Good piece. Thank you.
That moment with the bee wasn’t planned at all - it just happened, and I almost walked past it. Staying there for a minute felt small at the time, but it shifted something in how I was moving through the day.
And yeah… that trade from curiosity to certainty can happen so quietly. You don’t notice it until things start to feel a bit flat or predictable.
I’m also with you on the “be bad at things” part. It sounds easy, but it goes against how most of us are wired, especially once we’re used to doing things well. I still catch myself resisting it.
I appreciate you taking the time to read it like that - you picked up on the parts that mattered most to me.
🫶
“Exploring without the pressure of mastery” - It took a lot; but has been really freeing. 🙏🏽
I’ve noticed how quickly things can turn into something I feel I have to get good at, almost without realising. And then the curiosity disappears a bit, replaced by pressure.
Letting something stay in that “just exploring” space changes the whole experience. It feels lighter, but also more open somehow.
Glad you got to that point - it does feel freeing in a very real way.
I love that slightly impostor driven quote of Einstein, too! „No I’m not a genius, off with it“ to then win prices.
I get new ideas when I let myself follow a thought emerging from reading.
Curiosity can be directly practical once your brain is as connected as mine: recently I was curious about the café in the foreground of a photo in a message I got, background: a new building I could look up online. No street names given. I found a flight view photo of the same place to then check maps to find out where it is. (Not a huge city…) After that, I got the idea to tell a connect to look for a friend in their fitness app. Brain was like: oh, maps, there was something…
That’s such a good example of how curiosity actually moves in real life - not neat or linear, but jumping from one thing to another and somehow still connecting.
I smiled at the café story. That kind of quiet investigation most people wouldn’t even bother with, but once you follow it, your brain just keeps building on it. It’s like one small question opens a whole chain you didn’t expect.
And I relate to that moment where something clicks - “oh, maps… there was something there” - and suddenly it connects to something completely different.
I think that’s the practical side of curiosity people don’t talk about enough. It’s not just wonder for the sake of it, it actually sharpens how you think, how you notice, how you solve things in everyday situations.
Your mind sounds like it enjoys that process - following the thread just to see where it leads.
What a lovely read Alexandra. You have in-fact opened up to life.
When you open up to life, you DO start noticing the small things that everyone else takes for granted, including a bee. I could see this in my grandchildren when they looked at the trees from their pram when they were young. It never ceased to amaze me how they took interest in things we adults never notice any more. I think us adults should never loose that childhood trait in us, we should always see life as a challenge and NOT as a chore to endure.
Practicing Acceptance daily can bring you this quality of enjoyment by taking the burden of responsibility off your shoulders we are all in this thing we call life together nobody a live, never asked to be born we can’t take responsibility for everything that’s happening in this world we need to Accept more and worry less. To be happy and content and see those 🐝 bees doing their thing.
I really enjoyed reading your comment- especially the part about your grandchildren. I can picture that moment, just watching the trees and being completely absorbed by it. There’s something very pure about that kind of attention.
I think you’re right, we don’t lose that ability completely… it just gets covered up over time. Responsibilities, routines, all the things we think we have to carry. And without noticing, we stop looking in the same way.
What you said about acceptance also makes sense to me, but in a quieter way. Not so much taking all responsibility off, but softening the grip a little. Letting things be as they are for a moment, instead of constantly trying to manage everything.
That’s usually when those small things come back into view again. The bees, the light, the simple moments that don’t ask much from us.
I like how you brought it back to that. Thank you for your comment… love it.
Thank you Alexandra for your kind words and your observations of how Acceptance works, please keep those lovely stories of yours coming here on SS. JOHN
What stayed with me was the smallness of the beginning: standing still long enough to notice a bee moving through the garden. Sometimes wonder does not return through revelation, but through attention becoming quiet again.
That’s exactly how it’s felt for me too. Not something big or sudden, just those small moments where you stop long enough to actually see what’s already there. I remember noticing something similar once, just watching light move across a wall for a few minutes… nothing special, but it shifted something.
And the bee image is perfect. It’s easy to overlook, but if you stay with it for a moment, there’s a lot there.
It does feel like curiosity comes back that way - not through effort, but through making a bit of space for it to return.