I relate to this so much. I used to carry a lot of guilt and shame around my past, old relationships, choices I made, and things I wish I had handled differently. For a long time, even thinking about certain memories made me cringe. But healing has taught me that I couldn’t fully move forward while still punishing the person I used to be. Now I can look back at my past, even the ugly, uncomfortable, or “shameful” parts, with gratitude for what they taught me and how much I’ve grown. This was such a beautiful reminder that every version of us had a purpose. 💛
That shift from cringing at your past to being able to look at it with some level of gratitude… it’s not easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve been through something similar, where certain memories carried a weight for a long time.
Often when we look backwards it’s almost like we expect that younger version of us to have known what we only understand now. (Crazy and unfair on ourselves)
And I like how you framed it - not just accepting those parts, but recognising they had a purpose in getting you here. That doesn’t erase what was difficult, but it changes how you carry it.
It sounds like you’ve done some deep work around this. ❤️
The premise you're discussing here is one of the foundational arguments I have for suggesting in my scriptures that no one has free will.
It makes it easier to forgive ourselves, it makes it easier to forgive others, and it puts forward the possibility that while we are making our own choices, we only have one option available, and that is the option that makes the most sense to us at the time of the decision. Unless we are actively trying to behave in a way that is unlike us, we will always pick the only choice that makes the most sense to us at the time, so we aren't really making a choice, we are just continuing to exist as ourselves.
I really like this piece and the way you approached it.
We must not forget our past and our younger version! Memories are good for our life. What we are today is because of our past, be it unhappy or happy events from our past. It has taught us what's right and wrong for us today. It teaches us lessons.
Interesting, recently I have written a simple poem on menories, and I missed this point of learning from the past to include in it. Maybe, I will add one more stanza now.
It’s easy to either hold onto the past too tightly or try to move on from it completely, but what you described feels more balanced. Letting it be part of you without letting it define you.
And I like that it made you go back to your poem. That’s exactly how these reflections tend to work - something small clicks, and it quietly changes how you express things.
That idea of owning your story with a bit more humility took me a while to understand. It’s easy to swing between being too harsh or trying to justify everything, and neither really helps.
Finding that middle ground - where you can see things clearly without turning against yourself - feels quieter, but a lot more steady.
I really liked this piece. It feels thoughtful, grounded, and genuinely kind way to talk about healing and growth - that we’re often far too hard on past versions of ourselves, even though we only know better now because of what we’ve lived through.
I like your point that growth isn’t something we can apply backwards. It’s easy to judge who we were with the understanding we have now, but that version of us was doing the best it could with what it knew at the time.
I also thought the way you extended that idea into relationships was strong. Seeing someone’s past not just as baggage, but as part of what shaped them into who they are now. That feels like a much more compassionate way of loving people.
Your take on grace was nice. I liked the idea that it’s not passive or soft in a vague way, but an active choice to meet your past with curiosity instead of shame or judgment.
And the ending was uplifting. The idea of seeing your history as something to build from, instead of something to run from, is such a powerful shift. It’s hopeful and humane. How easy the application for some is I’m not so sure and depends on the context and what was involved but the idea remains possible either way.
I really appreciate how you read this - especially the care you brought into it.
That part you mentioned about not applying growth backwards is something I’ve had to learn slowly and repeatedly. It’s so easy to look back with today’s clarity and forget what it actually felt like to be in that moment, with a completely different level of awareness.
And I’m glad the relationship side resonated too. That shift - from seeing the past as baggage to seeing it as context - has changed a lot in how I understand people, not just myself.
What you said at the end also matters. It’s not always easy to apply, and for some people the past carries a lot more weight. I don’t think this approach removes that. It just offers a different way to meet it, when and if someone is ready.
Thank you for engaging with it like this - it added depth to the whole conversation.
I relate to this so much. I used to carry a lot of guilt and shame around my past, old relationships, choices I made, and things I wish I had handled differently. For a long time, even thinking about certain memories made me cringe. But healing has taught me that I couldn’t fully move forward while still punishing the person I used to be. Now I can look back at my past, even the ugly, uncomfortable, or “shameful” parts, with gratitude for what they taught me and how much I’ve grown. This was such a beautiful reminder that every version of us had a purpose. 💛
Oh yes indeed. Every version of us has a purpose.
That shift from cringing at your past to being able to look at it with some level of gratitude… it’s not easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve been through something similar, where certain memories carried a weight for a long time.
Often when we look backwards it’s almost like we expect that younger version of us to have known what we only understand now. (Crazy and unfair on ourselves)
And I like how you framed it - not just accepting those parts, but recognising they had a purpose in getting you here. That doesn’t erase what was difficult, but it changes how you carry it.
It sounds like you’ve done some deep work around this. ❤️
Oh yes, a great deal of work around this. 😊💕
So well explained . No regrets but take lessons
Thank you 🙏
I agree. Thanks.
https://michaelforrestlmt.substack.com/p/secrets-of-metal?r=7sfqpz&utm_medium=ios
The premise you're discussing here is one of the foundational arguments I have for suggesting in my scriptures that no one has free will.
It makes it easier to forgive ourselves, it makes it easier to forgive others, and it puts forward the possibility that while we are making our own choices, we only have one option available, and that is the option that makes the most sense to us at the time of the decision. Unless we are actively trying to behave in a way that is unlike us, we will always pick the only choice that makes the most sense to us at the time, so we aren't really making a choice, we are just continuing to exist as ourselves.
I really like this piece and the way you approached it.
We must not forget our past and our younger version! Memories are good for our life. What we are today is because of our past, be it unhappy or happy events from our past. It has taught us what's right and wrong for us today. It teaches us lessons.
Interesting, recently I have written a simple poem on menories, and I missed this point of learning from the past to include in it. Maybe, I will add one more stanza now.
It’s easy to either hold onto the past too tightly or try to move on from it completely, but what you described feels more balanced. Letting it be part of you without letting it define you.
And I like that it made you go back to your poem. That’s exactly how these reflections tend to work - something small clicks, and it quietly changes how you express things.
Curious how that extra stanza turns out.
“Every version of me was necessary. Even the ones I tried to disown. Especially those. “ — This is a good reminder. Thank you. 🤍
Thank you :)
Very well articulated! The owning your story with humility point resonated a lot with me:)
I’m really glad that part landed with you.
That idea of owning your story with a bit more humility took me a while to understand. It’s easy to swing between being too harsh or trying to justify everything, and neither really helps.
Finding that middle ground - where you can see things clearly without turning against yourself - feels quieter, but a lot more steady.
Glad it resonated with you.
So true, finding the middle in the end:) thanks for sharing a valuable thought!
I have the exact same thoughts coming off this article!
I am happy that resonates with you :)
I really liked this piece. It feels thoughtful, grounded, and genuinely kind way to talk about healing and growth - that we’re often far too hard on past versions of ourselves, even though we only know better now because of what we’ve lived through.
I like your point that growth isn’t something we can apply backwards. It’s easy to judge who we were with the understanding we have now, but that version of us was doing the best it could with what it knew at the time.
I also thought the way you extended that idea into relationships was strong. Seeing someone’s past not just as baggage, but as part of what shaped them into who they are now. That feels like a much more compassionate way of loving people.
Your take on grace was nice. I liked the idea that it’s not passive or soft in a vague way, but an active choice to meet your past with curiosity instead of shame or judgment.
And the ending was uplifting. The idea of seeing your history as something to build from, instead of something to run from, is such a powerful shift. It’s hopeful and humane. How easy the application for some is I’m not so sure and depends on the context and what was involved but the idea remains possible either way.
I really appreciate how you read this - especially the care you brought into it.
That part you mentioned about not applying growth backwards is something I’ve had to learn slowly and repeatedly. It’s so easy to look back with today’s clarity and forget what it actually felt like to be in that moment, with a completely different level of awareness.
And I’m glad the relationship side resonated too. That shift - from seeing the past as baggage to seeing it as context - has changed a lot in how I understand people, not just myself.
What you said at the end also matters. It’s not always easy to apply, and for some people the past carries a lot more weight. I don’t think this approach removes that. It just offers a different way to meet it, when and if someone is ready.
Thank you for engaging with it like this - it added depth to the whole conversation.