I happen to be scrolling by and I recognize the quote. I don't know what your background is I see mention of wisdom and I don't know if you have similar background to mine or mentioned just randomly coming across this.
So I'll just add a thought I'd say if you like this, consider looking into the study of philosophy and comparative religions. My college education includes degrees and Indo-European philology the study of Classical Languages and literature, World philosophies both of East and west, and comparative religion studying all religions but I particularly got into the study wanting to study Eastern philosophy, particularly of China and Japan, it ended up falling in love and spending my adult life studying Hinduism, Buddhism, and many other Southeast Asian traditions.
For my degree in Comparative Religion, since I wanted to familiarize myself with all religions, so that I could discuss them and get some perspective on their esoteric wisdom traditions, I studied a lot of 'philosophy of religion' for that degree. And in my studies of the history of Islam, Rumi was my favorite in Islamic traditions Sufism being the tradition I particularly liked in Islam and closest to the philosophies of Asia I love.
I'm not monotheistic so I don't really get into the arguments on God, at least that understanding of theism I'm more of a monist. But if you like awareness, mindfulness, reflection or let me put it in the terms I usually say, 'the thought of manipulating, controlling, and shaping my own perception and perspective of reality', to self-empower myself, to discipline and manipulate my experience, to connect with the world making and breaking connections to better myself- - that is 'yoga'; the making of connections and the breaking of them, to pick what exposure you have to your life and how you shape yourself; hatha yoga would be making a connection to your body, and choosing what connections you break so what activities you do and what you don't ('Body-connection', the exercises people often misunderstand as being 'yoga').
I hope I didn't send you a heading this, but it seems to me you really like this quote, and thought I might offer in a couple thoughts and suggest reading some books on Buddhism or Hindu philosophy since it's so diverse and there are literally maybe a hundred thousand philosophers throughout the last thousand years, as it's part of traditions to write commentaries and such, though only maybe a 0.0001% of it's ever been translated from Sanskrit, yeah it's enough that in Just four years of school filled my apartment with books for this one degree! I think you'd like it. If you like things like proverbs and this quote right here.by Rumi, and aphorisms, t his style is closer to the methods that you'll find in Indian and Chinese buddhism, since they are particularly fond of Parables, and aphorisms, as well as long difficult arguments: but putting that aside, I can recommend one thing just to check out if you want to see some little quotes and see if you like it and that would be one of the easiest reads and oldest: The Dhammapada.
I think you would do just fine picking up on it is difficult material and you typically need a guide to get into a lot of Southeast Asian philosophy, it's very complex and builds off itself going back 5000 years to start and just grows from there such that The Closer you get the modern history the more difficult it is because it builds off ideas that started 5,000 years ago and as soon as you already understand them, that's Hinduism I speak of. Buddhism is all probably around 2500 years old not even 2400 Maybe? But I can tell by your writing and thoughtfulness that it's material you can handle and you're writing also impresses me as focusing on ideas that make me think you might enjoy these philosophy traditions from these areas. Completely different thing than Western philosophy, which to put it bluntly, is as much fun as staring at a wall; other than maybe some old Roman and Greek philosophy like Marcus Aurelius is a good one you might also like if you like this, his meditations are short little esoteric essays and aphorisms, would pretty much everything after Roman philosophy becomes all about Christian Theology and building ideas off of their understanding of God until you get into around 1200 Common Era? I suppose I should have worked at some more of your writings first, see if I'm wasting my time you already know all this stuff? I just rarely meet people that have, Mariah can have a discussion without it. He'll now talking about in a curious I want to check out if you're writing?
I really appreciate you taking the time to share all of this - there’s a lot of depth in what you’ve explored.
And I can see the connection you’re making. That idea of shaping perception, choosing what we connect to and what we step away from… that’s very close to what I was trying to point to in a more everyday way.
I haven’t gone as far academically into these traditions as you have, but I’ve come across some of them along the way - more through practice and personal interest than structured study. I tend to keep things grounded in daily life, but I do see how a lot of these ideas echo across different philosophies.
I’ve heard of The Dhammapada but never read it fully, so I’ll take that as a good nudge to explore it properly.
And I appreciate the way you approached this - not assuming, just offering something that might connect.
The part about burnout coming from trying to control too much rather than doing too much hit differently. I’ve been thinking about this lately how much of my exhaustion is actually just friction from resisting things I never had a grip on to begin with. It’s a quieter version of the problem than people usually name.
Such a great reflection. This line, "This is what conscious living actually looks like. Not grand gestures, but consistent, quiet choices." So powerful! This was so empowering too because we often think we have no choice but to worry or ruminate or fear. But we can step back and relax, take a breath, sit for a moment. Loved this!
I’m really glad that line spoke to you - it’s something I’ve had to remind myself of a lot.
That feeling of “I have no choice but to follow this thought” can be really convincing in the moment. I’ve been there too, where it feels automatic. But even noticing it for a second… that’s usually where a bit of space opens up.
And like you said, it doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes it’s literally just pausing, taking one breath, or not going all the way down the same spiral.
It’s small, but it changes how the whole moment unfolds.
That was an amazing article Alexandra. Especially the part when you wrote “I’ve spent years working on myself, and I’m still doing it. I don’t think that part ever really ends. I still catch myself blaming, resisting, trying to control situations that make me uncomfortable. I still slip into old patterns.
The difference now is that I notice it sooner.”
I totally agree with you there. It doesn’t matter how far we go in learning new coping strategies we alway revert back into ‘Default Mode’ when we loosen how grip on our awareness. If we can always be-aware-of-being- aware-of-what-we- think we can always be in control over our emotions and the ‘WAY’ we think.
Always stay interacted HERE on SS Alexandra I believe we can do great things together between us. 🤪😂😂
I’m really glad that part resonated with you - it’s probably the most honest line in the whole piece.
I hear what you’re saying about default mode. It’s surprising how quickly it comes back, even when you’ve done a lot of work on yourself. I’ve noticed the same - it’s less about eliminating those patterns and more about catching them earlier, before they fully take over.
The “aware of being aware” part is interesting too. I’ve touched that state a few times, but I don’t find I can stay there all the time - and I’m not sure we’re meant to. For me it’s more about returning to it when I notice I’ve drifted, rather than holding onto it constantly.
And I appreciate the energy - I’m here, and I enjoy these kinds of conversations.
I really enjoyed his piece - that in a culture obsessed with fixing external circumstances, real transformation happens when we turn inward.
How trying to control the world exhausts us - burning energy managing outcomes that aren’t ours to manage - mistaking reactivity for purpose.
Self-awareness creates space. The pause between stimulus and response is where clarity lives – like that - Noticing patterns sooner - not perfectly, but consistently.
And that small practices compound - they aren't dramatic, but build resilience over time.
And the takeaway for me that ;asting change starts with shifting focus from forcing external circumstances to cultivating internally.
I wrote something along thes lines – the message about how change happens is the same idea but the content is different. I'll attach it below if you wanna scan over it .
I really like how you broke that down - especially the part about mistaking reactivity for purpose. That’s such an easy trap to fall into, and it can feel productive when it’s actually just draining.
And the way you described self-awareness creating space… that’s exactly it. Not a big shift, just that small gap where you’re not immediately pulled into the same pattern.
I’m curious to read what you wrote as well. It sounds like we’re circling the same idea from slightly different angles, which is usually where things get interesting. Feel free to share it.
That’s a really fair question - and I think it does happen.
I’ve seen that tendency too, where “working on yourself” becomes something you can stay inside of for a long time, without ever touching the parts of life that actually need to be addressed or changed.
For me, the difference has been whether the inner work leads to clearer action or just more reflection. If it only stays internal, it can turn into a kind of loop. But when it’s honest, it usually starts to show up in how you set boundaries, what you tolerate, what you move toward or away from.
So I don’t see it as either-or. It’s more like one should eventually inform the other. Otherwise, like you said, it can become a quieter form of avoidance.
I think the “inner work leading to clearer action” distinction is probably the key part.
Because I’ve noticed some people become incredibly self-aware while their actual environment never changes. Same relationships. Same patterns. Same systems around them.
At some point the external conditions have to be confronted too or the reflection just keeps feeding itself.
What do you think usually helps someone finally move from reflection into action?
That’s a really good question - and I’ve wondered about that too.
From what I’ve seen, the shift usually happens when the cost of staying the same becomes harder to ignore than the discomfort of changing something. You can reflect for a long time while things are still “manageable.” But at some point, there’s a moment where it’s clear that nothing external will move unless you do.
For me, it hasn’t been a clean or confident step into action. It’s usually been smaller than that. Saying something I would have avoided. Setting a boundary a bit earlier than usual. Choosing not to go along with something that doesn’t feel right.
I also think clarity plays a role. The more honest the reflection is, the harder it becomes to pretend you don’t see what needs to change.
But it’s not immediate. There’s often a gap between seeing and doing. And that gap is probably where most people get stuck for a while.
Curious what you’ve noticed yourself - what tends to move things from insight into action for you?
I really like how you put that - “meeting life differently” feels very true.
That’s been the shift for me as well. Not trying to control everything or get it right, but noticing when the old patterns come back and responding a little differently, even if it’s just by a small margin.
And that part about “not perfectly” matters. I still fall into the same reactions sometimes, but it doesn’t feel as final as it used to. There’s more awareness around it, even if it comes a bit later.
Those small returns you mentioned… they don’t look like much, but they change the direction over time.
What I appreciated most is the way you begin with such an ordinary scene: scrolling half-awake, meeting a familiar quote, and suddenly being stopped by it. That makes the whole essay feel less like advice and more like recognition. The strongest idea, for me, is that inner change does not begin with heroic intensity but with attention, the small pause before reaction, the space where we notice what is actually governing us. There is a quiet realism in that. We often try to change the world because it is easier than admitting how much of our own interior life still moves on autopilot. Perhaps the difficult wisdom is learning that self-mastery is not withdrawal from the world, but the only way to meet it without becoming another form of noise.
You named it “recognition” - that’s exactly how it felt in that moment. Not like learning something new, but more like being stopped just long enough to actually see what was already happening underneath the surface.
And I agree with you on that part about attention. It sounds small, almost too simple, but that pause before reacting… I’ve found that’s where everything starts to shift. Not in big, intense efforts, but in those quiet moments where you notice what’s actually driving you.
What you said about trying to change the world because it’s easier than looking inward... that’s an important reflective point… I’ve definitely caught myself doing that in subtle ways.
I really appreciate how you put this into words. It added another layer to something I’ve been trying to understand myself.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate this. I think you put it beautifully: recognition is often not learning something entirely new, but being stopped long enough to see what was already moving beneath the surface. That small pause before reaction may look almost invisible from the outside, but it is often where the deepest change begins.
Beautifully written
Thank you 🙏
I happen to be scrolling by and I recognize the quote. I don't know what your background is I see mention of wisdom and I don't know if you have similar background to mine or mentioned just randomly coming across this.
So I'll just add a thought I'd say if you like this, consider looking into the study of philosophy and comparative religions. My college education includes degrees and Indo-European philology the study of Classical Languages and literature, World philosophies both of East and west, and comparative religion studying all religions but I particularly got into the study wanting to study Eastern philosophy, particularly of China and Japan, it ended up falling in love and spending my adult life studying Hinduism, Buddhism, and many other Southeast Asian traditions.
For my degree in Comparative Religion, since I wanted to familiarize myself with all religions, so that I could discuss them and get some perspective on their esoteric wisdom traditions, I studied a lot of 'philosophy of religion' for that degree. And in my studies of the history of Islam, Rumi was my favorite in Islamic traditions Sufism being the tradition I particularly liked in Islam and closest to the philosophies of Asia I love.
I'm not monotheistic so I don't really get into the arguments on God, at least that understanding of theism I'm more of a monist. But if you like awareness, mindfulness, reflection or let me put it in the terms I usually say, 'the thought of manipulating, controlling, and shaping my own perception and perspective of reality', to self-empower myself, to discipline and manipulate my experience, to connect with the world making and breaking connections to better myself- - that is 'yoga'; the making of connections and the breaking of them, to pick what exposure you have to your life and how you shape yourself; hatha yoga would be making a connection to your body, and choosing what connections you break so what activities you do and what you don't ('Body-connection', the exercises people often misunderstand as being 'yoga').
I hope I didn't send you a heading this, but it seems to me you really like this quote, and thought I might offer in a couple thoughts and suggest reading some books on Buddhism or Hindu philosophy since it's so diverse and there are literally maybe a hundred thousand philosophers throughout the last thousand years, as it's part of traditions to write commentaries and such, though only maybe a 0.0001% of it's ever been translated from Sanskrit, yeah it's enough that in Just four years of school filled my apartment with books for this one degree! I think you'd like it. If you like things like proverbs and this quote right here.by Rumi, and aphorisms, t his style is closer to the methods that you'll find in Indian and Chinese buddhism, since they are particularly fond of Parables, and aphorisms, as well as long difficult arguments: but putting that aside, I can recommend one thing just to check out if you want to see some little quotes and see if you like it and that would be one of the easiest reads and oldest: The Dhammapada.
I think you would do just fine picking up on it is difficult material and you typically need a guide to get into a lot of Southeast Asian philosophy, it's very complex and builds off itself going back 5000 years to start and just grows from there such that The Closer you get the modern history the more difficult it is because it builds off ideas that started 5,000 years ago and as soon as you already understand them, that's Hinduism I speak of. Buddhism is all probably around 2500 years old not even 2400 Maybe? But I can tell by your writing and thoughtfulness that it's material you can handle and you're writing also impresses me as focusing on ideas that make me think you might enjoy these philosophy traditions from these areas. Completely different thing than Western philosophy, which to put it bluntly, is as much fun as staring at a wall; other than maybe some old Roman and Greek philosophy like Marcus Aurelius is a good one you might also like if you like this, his meditations are short little esoteric essays and aphorisms, would pretty much everything after Roman philosophy becomes all about Christian Theology and building ideas off of their understanding of God until you get into around 1200 Common Era? I suppose I should have worked at some more of your writings first, see if I'm wasting my time you already know all this stuff? I just rarely meet people that have, Mariah can have a discussion without it. He'll now talking about in a curious I want to check out if you're writing?
I really appreciate you taking the time to share all of this - there’s a lot of depth in what you’ve explored.
And I can see the connection you’re making. That idea of shaping perception, choosing what we connect to and what we step away from… that’s very close to what I was trying to point to in a more everyday way.
I haven’t gone as far academically into these traditions as you have, but I’ve come across some of them along the way - more through practice and personal interest than structured study. I tend to keep things grounded in daily life, but I do see how a lot of these ideas echo across different philosophies.
I’ve heard of The Dhammapada but never read it fully, so I’ll take that as a good nudge to explore it properly.
And I appreciate the way you approached this - not assuming, just offering something that might connect.
The part about burnout coming from trying to control too much rather than doing too much hit differently. I’ve been thinking about this lately how much of my exhaustion is actually just friction from resisting things I never had a grip on to begin with. It’s a quieter version of the problem than people usually name.
Such a great reflection. This line, "This is what conscious living actually looks like. Not grand gestures, but consistent, quiet choices." So powerful! This was so empowering too because we often think we have no choice but to worry or ruminate or fear. But we can step back and relax, take a breath, sit for a moment. Loved this!
I’m really glad that line spoke to you - it’s something I’ve had to remind myself of a lot.
That feeling of “I have no choice but to follow this thought” can be really convincing in the moment. I’ve been there too, where it feels automatic. But even noticing it for a second… that’s usually where a bit of space opens up.
And like you said, it doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes it’s literally just pausing, taking one breath, or not going all the way down the same spiral.
It’s small, but it changes how the whole moment unfolds.
YES! That’s what I love. It’s so much the massive overhaul as much as it is the small meaningful pause! Thank you so much! :D
That was an amazing article Alexandra. Especially the part when you wrote “I’ve spent years working on myself, and I’m still doing it. I don’t think that part ever really ends. I still catch myself blaming, resisting, trying to control situations that make me uncomfortable. I still slip into old patterns.
The difference now is that I notice it sooner.”
I totally agree with you there. It doesn’t matter how far we go in learning new coping strategies we alway revert back into ‘Default Mode’ when we loosen how grip on our awareness. If we can always be-aware-of-being- aware-of-what-we- think we can always be in control over our emotions and the ‘WAY’ we think.
Always stay interacted HERE on SS Alexandra I believe we can do great things together between us. 🤪😂😂
I’m really glad that part resonated with you - it’s probably the most honest line in the whole piece.
I hear what you’re saying about default mode. It’s surprising how quickly it comes back, even when you’ve done a lot of work on yourself. I’ve noticed the same - it’s less about eliminating those patterns and more about catching them earlier, before they fully take over.
The “aware of being aware” part is interesting too. I’ve touched that state a few times, but I don’t find I can stay there all the time - and I’m not sure we’re meant to. For me it’s more about returning to it when I notice I’ve drifted, rather than holding onto it constantly.
And I appreciate the energy - I’m here, and I enjoy these kinds of conversations.
“For me it’s more about returning to it when I notice I’ve drifted, rather than holding onto it constantly” as long as you don’t let it drift too far.
https://adhdguys.substack.com/p/recovery-guaranteed-fixes-100-effective?r=143ty1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I really enjoyed his piece - that in a culture obsessed with fixing external circumstances, real transformation happens when we turn inward.
How trying to control the world exhausts us - burning energy managing outcomes that aren’t ours to manage - mistaking reactivity for purpose.
Self-awareness creates space. The pause between stimulus and response is where clarity lives – like that - Noticing patterns sooner - not perfectly, but consistently.
And that small practices compound - they aren't dramatic, but build resilience over time.
And the takeaway for me that ;asting change starts with shifting focus from forcing external circumstances to cultivating internally.
I wrote something along thes lines – the message about how change happens is the same idea but the content is different. I'll attach it below if you wanna scan over it .
I really like how you broke that down - especially the part about mistaking reactivity for purpose. That’s such an easy trap to fall into, and it can feel productive when it’s actually just draining.
And the way you described self-awareness creating space… that’s exactly it. Not a big shift, just that small gap where you’re not immediately pulled into the same pattern.
I’m curious to read what you wrote as well. It sounds like we’re circling the same idea from slightly different angles, which is usually where things get interesting. Feel free to share it.
I loved this so much some people really need to read this!!
Thank you - I really appreciate you saying that.
And I agree… I think a lot of us are closer to this than we realise, we just don’t always pause long enough to see it.
Glad it resonated with you.
I wonder if “changing yourself” sometimes becomes another socially acceptable form of avoidance.
Some people spend years regulating their inner world while never confronting the external conditions quietly shaping it.
That’s a really fair question - and I think it does happen.
I’ve seen that tendency too, where “working on yourself” becomes something you can stay inside of for a long time, without ever touching the parts of life that actually need to be addressed or changed.
For me, the difference has been whether the inner work leads to clearer action or just more reflection. If it only stays internal, it can turn into a kind of loop. But when it’s honest, it usually starts to show up in how you set boundaries, what you tolerate, what you move toward or away from.
So I don’t see it as either-or. It’s more like one should eventually inform the other. Otherwise, like you said, it can become a quieter form of avoidance.
I think the “inner work leading to clearer action” distinction is probably the key part.
Because I’ve noticed some people become incredibly self-aware while their actual environment never changes. Same relationships. Same patterns. Same systems around them.
At some point the external conditions have to be confronted too or the reflection just keeps feeding itself.
What do you think usually helps someone finally move from reflection into action?
That’s a really good question - and I’ve wondered about that too.
From what I’ve seen, the shift usually happens when the cost of staying the same becomes harder to ignore than the discomfort of changing something. You can reflect for a long time while things are still “manageable.” But at some point, there’s a moment where it’s clear that nothing external will move unless you do.
For me, it hasn’t been a clean or confident step into action. It’s usually been smaller than that. Saying something I would have avoided. Setting a boundary a bit earlier than usual. Choosing not to go along with something that doesn’t feel right.
I also think clarity plays a role. The more honest the reflection is, the harder it becomes to pretend you don’t see what needs to change.
But it’s not immediate. There’s often a gap between seeing and doing. And that gap is probably where most people get stuck for a while.
Curious what you’ve noticed yourself - what tends to move things from insight into action for you?
What stayed with me most is the quiet shift from trying to control life to learning how to meet it differently.
Not perfectly.
Not passively.
Just with a little more awareness each time the old patterns return.
I really like how you put that - “meeting life differently” feels very true.
That’s been the shift for me as well. Not trying to control everything or get it right, but noticing when the old patterns come back and responding a little differently, even if it’s just by a small margin.
And that part about “not perfectly” matters. I still fall into the same reactions sometimes, but it doesn’t feel as final as it used to. There’s more awareness around it, even if it comes a bit later.
Those small returns you mentioned… they don’t look like much, but they change the direction over time.
What I appreciated most is the way you begin with such an ordinary scene: scrolling half-awake, meeting a familiar quote, and suddenly being stopped by it. That makes the whole essay feel less like advice and more like recognition. The strongest idea, for me, is that inner change does not begin with heroic intensity but with attention, the small pause before reaction, the space where we notice what is actually governing us. There is a quiet realism in that. We often try to change the world because it is easier than admitting how much of our own interior life still moves on autopilot. Perhaps the difficult wisdom is learning that self-mastery is not withdrawal from the world, but the only way to meet it without becoming another form of noise.
You named it “recognition” - that’s exactly how it felt in that moment. Not like learning something new, but more like being stopped just long enough to actually see what was already happening underneath the surface.
And I agree with you on that part about attention. It sounds small, almost too simple, but that pause before reacting… I’ve found that’s where everything starts to shift. Not in big, intense efforts, but in those quiet moments where you notice what’s actually driving you.
What you said about trying to change the world because it’s easier than looking inward... that’s an important reflective point… I’ve definitely caught myself doing that in subtle ways.
I really appreciate how you put this into words. It added another layer to something I’ve been trying to understand myself.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate this. I think you put it beautifully: recognition is often not learning something entirely new, but being stopped long enough to see what was already moving beneath the surface. That small pause before reaction may look almost invisible from the outside, but it is often where the deepest change begins.